The Dark Lord’s life story

‘So it was that I was born out of the union of a White Wizard and a Vampire Queen…’

Dirk as a little child, with the Queen of the Night, the Dark Mistress of the Underworld, his mother, Oksana the Pale


Originally from a world beyond our own, Dirk Lloyd lives in the town of Whiteshields in England where he spends most of his time trying to get out of school and back home to his Iron Tower in the Darklands.

He has been a Dark Lord for more than a thousand years. Some of his achievements include: building the Iron Tower of Despair, raising vast armies of Orcs and Goblins, the waging of great wars, the destruction of many cities, the casting of mighty spells and enchantments, and excelling in English, Science and Maths classes at school.

He has only recently turned to writing. Be warned – reviewers who adversely criticize this work will be hauled off to his Dungeon of Doom, subjected to the Racks of Pain, and then consigned to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil for all eternity.

  1. Logan Cooper says:

    Oh great Lord of Darkness, I besesch your help.

    I have been trying to gather your books for great inspiration, and have become disorientated by doing so.

    Your third book to me seems to have two names, such as you, The Great Dark Lord, and Dirk Llyod.

    Its names seems to be Dark Lord: 3 Eternal Detention, and Dark Lord: 3 The Teenage Years.

    If I may be honored by your great help, oh Great Lord of Darkness, the pitiful life that I live shall be fulfilled, oh great Dark Lord.

    • jamiethomson1 says:

      Logan, you enfeebled human wormling! This site is almost dead now – I’d forgotten I’d assigned a goblin scribe to create it, in fact! There is a newer more up to date site where my bloated slave, the ghost writer, Thomson, puts out my life story. It’s

      Anyway, there are 3 books in the series, Dark Lord 1: The teenage Years, Dark Lord 2: A Fiend in Need and Dark Lord 3 Eternal Detention. There should not be a dark lord 3 the teenage years! Whoever has told you this is lying and probably a servant of the White Wizard. Eternal Detention is number 3, and that’s officially official!

      • Logan Cooper says:

        Excuse my stupidity, oh great Lord of Dirkness!

        I truely am inferior to you, the most supreme, and the most powerful, and true Lord of Darkness!

        Thank you, oh thank you, my Lord!

        I shall immediatly find the one who has wronged your great name, and CORRECT their ways of thinking, oh Llyod of Dirkness! I shall personally make sure that they will be sent to the Dungeons of Doom, and hung for the next millennium!

        Thank you for your patience, my lord, for answering my pitiful questions!

        Your humble servant and pitiful slave of the great Dark Lord, enemy of the White Wizard, and supreme being,


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